This happened to me years ago but I still cannot shake it. I was at a club with some friends and dancing when this guy just came up to me like he wanted to dance. I ignored him. Moments later, he proceeded to stick his hand straight up under my shirt, under my bra, and felt my bare breast. I was so shocked that it took me a moment to even realize what was going on. I backed away and yelled at him
(the music was loud so I don’t even know if he heard.) I wish I would have told someone and made a big scene and really called him out, but I was just so shocked! It was like it happened in slow motion. My friends even missed it and I never told them about it. In fact, to this day I never told anyone about it, but I think of it often.
Things here at the Hollaback! HQ office are super busy as we prep for our fourth annual Anti Street Harassment Rally on April 16th.
Emily spent some time in Tennessee this week, speaking at Tennessee Technological University. She spoke to the students about gender based violence and street harassment.
Debjani was interviewed by NBC New York to discuss the new guidelines for taxi drivers that are currently being discussed by the NYC Taxi and Limousine Commission.
Hollaback! Croatia is celebrating its 5th birthday tonight with a Hollaback! themed birthday party!
Hollaback! Vancouver dedicated their social media to self care tips and #webelievesurvivors in response to the Ghomeshi trial.
Hollaback! Vegas will have a booth at The Extreme Thing music festival to raise awareness around sexual assault, human trafficking and street harassment on April 2nd.
That’s all for this week!
Holla and out!
Over the past few year’s I have experienced endless amounts of harassment, from little boys years younger than me grabbing my ass and a man twice my age forcing himself on me in broad daylight – not to mention constant whistles and animal sounds “Hey baby””Hey sexy””Smile love”…
However, nothing has every upset me so much, as an incident that happened last Christmas while I was at home in Ireland for a few days.
I was standing at an ATM taking out money at 10 at night when my friends stood ten feet away waiting on me.
Out of nowhere these two grown men come up behind me and begin making these aggressive whispers in my ear ……
“Holy Fuck what I wouldn’t love to do to that”…”Look at the fucking hole on that”…”Jesus Crist, and those tits look at those fucking tits” …. At this point, I was so overwhelmed and almost couldn’t believe it was happening. I turned around and one of them looked me straight in the face and said “I’d love to get fuckin stuck into you”
More than anything I was so so angry that they though they have the right to speak to someone in such a horrific way.In the end I told him to Fuck off and that they were both absolutely discussing, and there is no way they will ever get a woman speaking like that to women.
I was sitting in the waiting from of my Ophthalmologist when a guy was ushered in by one of the nurses and sat across from me (left side). He fiddled on his iPhone for a few minutes and the slouched in his seat as if he was very tired. Then he crossed his legs, propped his knee up and positioned his phone upright on it. The flash went off and I stared at him wide eyed. He slouched more in his seat, closed his eyes after staring at me and pretended to fall asleep.
I got up before him and as I left the waiting area I heard him say “Did you get it ? Have you made copies yet ?” to someone on his phone.
I beat myself up every now and then for not saying anything but it was around that time of the month when Im usually am slow to respond and foggy headed. I try to forget it but I will always wonder what he did with MY PICTURE.
Last Thursday night I was driving home from my boyfriends at about 11PM and stopped to get petrol on the way back. As I left my car I noticed a guy staring at me with a particularly strange expression. I chose to ignore it and carried on to get cash from the ATM and then walked into the shop to pay for my petrol. Inside I saw him again. He looked at me with the same smiling, (off putting if I’ll admit it) expression. I stepped away to allow him to get to the counter before me and turned my attention to the confectionery stand. While I was hunched over I felt someone slap my ass and turned around shocked to see the same man giving me the same, hollowing gap-toothed goofy looking laugh/smile as before. Initially I was in shock. Did this really happen? What had just happened? I am the type of person to stick up for myself but could barely fathom a decent platform as to stick up for myself on. Then I was angry, hurt. I could feel the imprint of his hand there on my bottom for hours later. Am I over reacting? Is this all silly? I can see the vile expression in his face stuck in my memory. I don’t know what has upset me more though – the fact it happened or the fact the security guard or server behind the til in the shop barely flinched or said and did nothing. Surely this is wrong? I just worry if the individual thinks this is ok to do in public, in front of several others then what else would he do in privacy, away from prying eyes? Do I inform the police as I’m sure it’ll be caught on CCTV or do I just let it go? I’m torn to decide as it’s such unfamiliar territory. Also I was extremely tired and feeling extra vulnerable at the time so I’m not sure if I just over reacted or not.The advice online for these type of situations in really disappointing tbh. I’m so upset and confused. Why do people think this is OK behaviour????
At the Hollaback! HQ, the staff has returned in full force with Emily, Debjani, and Jae back from their international street harassment retreat in Bellagio, Italy. Here in the office we have been planning for International Anti-Street Harassment Week coming up on April 10th and our 4th annual Rally to be held at the week’s end on April 16th in Tompkins Sq Park, NYC. Other than that, Desireé made a trip to the Twitter office in NYC to attend the #PositionOfStrength celebration!
And at Hollaback! sites around the world:
Hollaback! London headed out to Cairo to participate and co-facilitate in a workshop about diversity in street harassment activism with HarassMap.
Holla and out!
Desiree spent the first half of the week in Austin at SXSW! She took part in their Online Harassment Summit and was a panelist on the “Tech and The United Front Against Online Hate” Panel!
Hollaback! Bmore co-director, Brittany Oliver will be giving a talk on street harassment as a human rights issue at The Global Women’s Institute on March 23rd. If you’re going to be in the area, you can RSVP here!
Hollaback! Vancouver just ended their Story Sharing contest and will be announcing the winners this week! They were able to collect so many stories over the span of the contest! This contest showed just how awesome story sharing can be!
That’s all for this week! Stay tuned for more great things next week!
Holla and out
A man snuck up behind me when I was putting some vegetables in my cart. He was probably in his 50s. Goes “You know how to make those taste real good, girly?” Very close to me and blocking my cart. I said, “What?” Trying to figure out what to say next. He repeated himself without the “girly”, so I told him I roast them. He tried to keep talking so I politely told him I needed to finish shopping so I could go back to work, and backed up when he didn’t move out of my way. He followed me and continued to talk, and I only lost him when he wanted me to follow him down one aisle and I went the other way without saying anything. I left immediately and kept looking over my shoulder because I was afraid he would come up behind me again. I was in a public place so I was probably fine, but still not fun to feel like you’re being followed.
A guy catcalled me in front of my mom. I told him to shut the fu** up and he yelled at me asking why I couldn’t take a compliment and threw a magazine at me.
The office was almost empty this week but Desiree, CJ and the interns held down the fort. Emily, Debjani and Jae were in Italy this week! They attended the first ever international convening on street harassment in Bellagio!
And at Hollaback! sites around the world:
Hollaback! Bmore held a successful StoryTelling as Resistance event. This event is one of three that will lead up to the revealing of The Monument Quilt on April 9th. The quilt will feature the stories of sexual assault survivors.
That’s all for this week! Stay tuned for more next week!
Holla and out!