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I was walking the one and half blocks from my house to my favorite bar when a man in a car starts slowly driving next to me. He’s yelling at me ‘Hey’, but I’m not paying attention because I rarely do. He goes “HEY RED! Do you drive a Volvo?” I just said yes and kept walking, my naivety wanted to believe he was going to tell me someone had hit my car or something, but of course not. He said “I thought that was you. You beautiful.” He was still following me in the car and all I could think was that if he saw me in my car probably meant he saw me get out of my car and go into my house or at least where my house was.
I didn’t say anything, but he continued, “I’m just trying to be nice, smile Red, you gotta boyfriend? I can make you smile.” All things I did not want to hear. Again I said yes and kept walking. At this point he said something else and sped off and I ran into the bar. I’ve had a lot of experiences with walking down the street and men telling me to smile or saying I have a killer body, I’ve had a guy riding a bike come up behind me and grab my ass. It is not something that happens once a month or even once a week. It’s every single day. It happens at 9am and it happens at 3 am. It happens when I’m wearing jeans and it happens when I’m wearing a tight dress. It happens when I’m alone and it happens when I’m with my friends. It happens all the time and it’s so inappropriate. If I’m in the middle of a conversation with my friends and you holler at us and we don’t respond it’s not because we’re being rude, it’s because we’re in the middle of a conversation and either didn’t hear you and don’t want to talk to strangers who are yelling at us. I do not want to go home with you, I do not want you to come home with me. I will never meet someone on the street and hear “damn that ass” and think “THIS IS A MAN I WANT TO TAKE HOME WITH ME AND FUCK.” Because that’s all they want. They don’t want me. They don’t want to hear me talk about my love of cooking or how much I’d wish for the Doctor to come take me away in the Tardis. They won’t debate with me if continuity errors in super hero movies make it a bad movie. In short they aren’t what I want and they should go and try and find women who can stand their sorry asses or even better learn how to treat and talk to women like they’re you know human beings and not objects for their fantasy. I dress well and I take care of myself, but for me certainly not for you.
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