Stalking

An update: Help found

An update to my situation:
I originally posted on December 23, 2009 (Bisexual men get harassed too). I have since moved to Los Angeles, CA and i yelled at elderly Italian man from my window that i was moving back to los angeles and that he can’t mess with me any more.  But i have learned that he is still messing with me from ny via online, because when I go out I hear people gossiping about naked videos of me or the false slanderous stories the old italian man spread about me from NY  so I am going to seek the help of WHOA (Working to Halt Online Abuse) and Jane Hitchcock.   I just don’t know what to do and lucky i found out about WHOA and hopefully they can help me deal with my cyber harasser/perverted ex-neighbor.

Some people wanted to assault me due to the false slanderous stories but saw that i was good looking in person so they left me alone.  I am stressed out and contemplated suicide but joining a church helped.

Submitted by Michael L.

one comment 
Stalking

I HOLLA for you, sis.

This past summer, I submitted a harassment experience here.  Recently, I told my mom about it (I’m 17)  and she told me about something that happened to her and my little sister (age 10) when they were visiting me in Boston.  I wanted to post it here because when children are harassed, often no one ever finds out.  I wanted to make it clear that street harassment affects children too, and that my little sister is one of the lucky ones.

My mom and sister were on the Orange Line, not sure which station, when my mom noticed a youngish man staring at my little sister.  She’s an exceptionally pretty little girl, so this was not altogether unusual, but my mom said that something in the way he was looking my little sister up and down made the hair stand up on the back of her neck.  When the train came to the next station, my mom hustled my sister out of their car and into another car.  The man followed them, still staring at my sister.  At the next stop, Mom tried to switch cars again, and although the man tried to follow, they were too fast for him and escaped.  My little sister never knew what was going on; Mom just told her she wanted a less crowded car.

Since then, my sister has been followed by another man here at home in Ohio on her way to and from choir practice.  She was really frightened and asked my dad to drive her from now on; the stalker has since disappeared.  But I’m so scared for her.  Just thinking about this shit makes me want to throw up.  A little girl should not have to ride  a train- or walk around her own town- in fear.

Submitted by Katherine

one comment 
Assault, Verbal

Do I really have to move just to get some RESPECT?

It’s 5:15pm on New Year’s Eve. I just get off the subway from work, and I’m walking home. An older man, in his mid 50’s, looks at me and as he passes says: “Oh, she’s got hips on her — don’t let the little (something) fool you.” The man behind him, not sure if they were together, also in his mid 50’s, passes me with his elbow out to the side and says “Hey!” as he jabs me in the shoulder. I turn around, dumbfounded and unable to find words, and give him a dirty look. He says “this is New York!” as I turn the corner.

This encounter was enough to get me looking on Craigslist for a new apartment. I know that street harassment will follow me wherever I go, unfortunately, but it has never been as bad for me as it is where I live now.

Submitted by Diane

no comments 
Assault

2011: A year for courage

So this website has brought back all these memories through the years and given me the courage to contact offenders that I was not able to confront at the time.  One was a grad school professor who stuck his finger up my butt while standing in line with him in the cafeteria. It was the grossest thing.  I was so shocked and humiliated, but weirdly turned around smiling as though it was a joke and said something like “there are laws against that you know, ha ha”  My response so sickens me now that I sent the following e-mail to him last week.  Thanks Hollaback for giving me the courage to set the record straight.

E-mail I wrote to my long ago offender:
I should have slapped the shit out of you and started yelling at the top of my lungs “This asshole pervert just stuck his finger in my ass and I’m turning him over to the authorities.”  You fucking bastard. We were in line at the cafeteria at USC. At the age of 30-something I’d not yet learned to stand up to sexual harassment in a way that was helpful. You have probably forgotten what you did to me, but if you are still sexually assaulting your female students I hope to God you’ve gotten what you deserve from at least one or two of them.

For some reason you hated me–I guess because I didn’t worship you. Your class was terrifying for me.  I’d never done improv.  You seemed to pick up on that, had no compassion or even the slightest interest in understanding my fear as your student of acting. You had all the power, Stephen.  I know because I went on to be a university director and teacher. Then to make it worse, you made it your mission to humiliate me every chance you got.

I was in the MFA class of 1986 at USC.  I took one year of your Improv class and then got released from it because it was so upsetting to me. I also remember you STILL treating me like shit year’s later at [      ]‘s wedding.  I don’t know why I was even at your table at the reception, but I was. What was your fucking problem with me? I should have cornered you and confronted you then.

I needed to get this off my chest because every time I get the USC alumni magazine, that memory comes back and I feel ashamed.  NO MORE.  You can have the shame because you are the only one who did anything wrong.

I deserve an apology and you deserve to have been reported.

I rather doubt you are man enough to even consider making amends.  So be it.  I’m having a damn good life surrounded by people who love and appreciate me and you, my dear, can go to hell.

Submitted by circe1223

2 comments 
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