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Why do you HOLLA? Because any kind of harassment is not okay!
What’s your craft? I’m a lawyer.
HOLLAfact about your city: Chandigarh is one of the cleanest and most well-planned cities in India
What was your first experience with street harassment? My first experience was when I was 16 years old. I was walking from home to a nearby market and a group of boys started following me. They were hooting and commenting. My first reaction was to find a way out of the situation. I quickened my pace and entered a shop where I knew the owner. I stayed inside until I saw them leave.
Define your style: I am an eternal optimist. I like to believe the best of people. I try to understand why people do the things that they do. No one is inherently evil and if you just try a little, you can connect to the human inside of everyone.
Say you’re Queen for the day. What would you do to end street harassment? All harassers would have to pay a $100 fine for each incident of harassment and the money would be used to fund Hollaback! campaigns all over the world!
If you could leave the world one piece of advice, what would it be? To let go of judgements.
My superheroine power is…positivity!
What inspires you? The amazing strength of the human spirit.
In the year 2020, street harassment…will be a thing of the past.
A few months ago, I was just walking down a street and minding my own business. When I heard shouts behind me, I turned around and saw a car driving past with about four men in it shouting comments like “Alright, Sexy”, and “I’d smash your back doors in”. I was fifteen at the time, and even though I’d had a few looks and comments before it really scared me, and I was really shook up by the whole situation. Something should definitely be done about this, it may be seen by men as a bit of banter, but it’s completely insulting and derogatory. A few if my friends have also had experiences like this, and none of them have been impressed.
So me and my sister were walking acrossed the street these 2 guys walked passed us and one said ‘Hey ladies’ we didn’t reply, he said ‘Then don’t say SHIT’ my sister said ‘Cause your ugly as fuck’ I’m only 14.
On Sept. 12th, 2011 at roughly 11:30 PM I was walking to a bar on Congress St. I had dropped off two friends, then went with another to park. Walking to the bar after parking, I was approached by an unknown male, very obviously chemically impaired (glassy eyes,profuse sweating.) He was initially shouting about being kicked out of one of the bars, then realized I was Trans* and started unleashing a string of transphobic slurs and threats, telling me that I did not belong in that part of town. At one point he physically confronted me, bumping his chest into me and shoving me. A very firm knee to the groin did not deter him, nor could his companion, a short man, convince him to stop. Fortunately, the woman I was walking with entered the bar next door and dispatched the bartender, who promptly dialed 911 and came out to assist, causing the assaulter to flee down an alley.
I was walking from the metro to my apartment today when this gross guy came up behind me. I knew he was saying something to me but I just pretended not to notice him because I was wearing headphones. Then he started speaking really loud so I could hear him over the earphones: “You’re a really beautiful woman.” I’m positive this ugly mofo thought he was doing me a favor but it was just embarrassing. I just pretended not to notice him over my music even though he was in my face. I arrived at the entrance to my apartment and went inside.
This happens to me a lot in the 2 minute walk between the metro and my apartment and it’s infuriating. I pledged to speak up the next time one of these perverts was close enough for me to confront them (they often just things as they drive by). But in that moment, I couldn’t do it. I thought, if I piss this guy off, he’s going to know where I live and it will only make things worse. I was so angry at myself because immediately after I got home I thought of all the things I would have liked to say to him. More than anything, I wanted him to feel mortified like he made me feel in front of my own home, without letting him know he had gotten to me. Here’s what I would have like to have said:
Smiling like I was interested, I’d say “You’re pretty confident, aren’t you?”
And he’d respond with some kind of “Yes.”
And then with a straight face, I’d love to have said: “Well you shouldn’t be. You’re shorter than a 4th grader.”
Maybe next time I’ll have the courage?
WE NEED A HOLLABACK LA. This city is filled with creeps.
It appears to me that much of the cultural devaluation of the “feminine” comes from the long-held myth that there is an intrinsic difference between the genders.
Growing up, an easy label to attach to myself was “tomboy” because I was “like a boy” in that I did not like dresses or pink. But now I do like dresses and pink and I’m still me but no longer considered a “tomboy.” How odd! “Tomboy” itself is an unfair idea. I’m not ‘like a boy’ if I dislike pink. I’m like a biological female who sometimes does. It’s a color. A color is not characteristic of a gender.
As spirit-lifting author and transgender activist Kate Bornstein says “Gender attribution is phallocentric. One is male until perceived otherwise.” I think this universal acceptance of man and “maleness” as being normal (hence, a tomboy is ‘like a boy’ since boys and males are the standards against which we measure things) unfairly marks non-males and non-“masculine” behavior (such as enjoying the color pink) as abnormal. Women, not being men, are Other, Alien, Anonymous; the helper, the obstacle, the enemy, the prize.
So, voila! My humble plea: Let us not think in polar opposites. Let us bust some myths.
The myth that men are and should be stolid and unfeeling cuts off menfolk from actual human feelings. The myth that men are weak to their sexual desires (which are generally defined as heterosexual, dominant, impulsive and darned sloppy) is a myth that limits the full scope of men’s sexuality and reduces men to the state of a childlike predator. (See: Hugo Schwyzer http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/
The myth that women are pure, pretty princesses is weird, dehumanizing and unrealistic. And much worse is the myth that women are depraved and must be controlled and censored in order to prevent great, scary, mysteriously feminine things (like what–equality?). This myth cuts off women’s sexual development and tells a great, socially-accepted lie about what women are (non-sexual) and what they can be (slaves).
Both of these myths—men as helpless beasts and women as evil ninnies—hurt EVERYONE. In this polar-opposite construction of gender differences, men are hapless attackers; women perpetual victims and no one goes home happy. If we can break out of the system that tells us what we are, if we can stop being manipulated by false ideas that sell stereotypes about our sexual potentials, then we can freely express ourselves sexually and ethically without fear of sexual assault.
In essence: We are not dissimilar males and non-males, but friends! There are no absolute, essential qualities inherent in any gender. I advocate a smashing of the old lies and myths so we can more realistically see ourselves as diverse, sexual people of many stripes. Onward!
Bus stop at the corner of Nevada and Alabama, Bellingham. Red truck drove by and passenger yelled “damn!” out the window. Startled me.
BY REBECCA KATHERINE HIRSCH
Know that jaunty feeling when you’re walking down the street and see a fine-looking individual? Don’t punch them in the face. Because that’s what it feels like to be piercingly stared to the ground, whistled at, lip-smacked, pinched and bullied.
I’ve been doing some thinking about that common street harassment excuse that these things are “just compliments.”
This defense brings up a tricky double bind.
The male privilege (taught, not innate) to stare, mock and hurt (a privilege that many men don’t even consider, never having being raised as women to be constantly alert to attack) exists on an unpleasant continuum of dehumanizing actions that stretches from lewd gestures to physical assault. In other words, the philosophy that Women are Prizes, not people—pretty ornaments, immaterial support systems or peripheral cast members to the Everyman—can encompass everything from mockery to rape.
“Sexuality” as presented in this traditional predator-prey mold is adversarial. Man attacks woman. End of story. And in this impossibly limited characterization, the ONLY way a woman is allowed to receive any power without recourse is to enjoy the male attention, to be a happy recipient of condoned male attention or aggression.
But EVERYONE wants to be admired. This is not a FEMALE trait. Everyone wants to admire. This is not a MALE trait. We all want the same things. The issue is context, duration, awareness of situations. Men are taught to pursue. Women are taught to take it or internally fight it, but certainly not do anything to protest the system that created it.
Everyone wants to look and be looked at in comfortable, erotic, safe situations. But it’s not a compliment if the recipient’s response is anger or hurt. So how do we get to more equilateral gender relations? I suggest 1) valuing and teaching clear communication skills and 2) encouraging people to express desires and boundaries with awareness of the other person’s desires and boundaries.
In other words: The next time you see a hot chick/cad/fellow person on the street, smile. Say hello. Do a little dance if you can’t keep it inside. But don’t be mean. No one wants to bang the mean person. After all, no kind expression of interest will ever warrant the desperate defense that it was “just a compliment.”
On a daily basis I encounter this. Guys slow down in their cars expecting to pick me up. Or they stare. Are they even watching the road? I know its not groping, or stalking, verbal, or assault(though I definitely felt the threat of that before). But it bothers me to no end… I mean, it really gets me down. On days like this when I get home I cry. Because it happens OFTEN. Every time I wait for the bus now, its like its increasing. On a normal week where I do nothing but school that would be maybe 12 times, often more, in a week that I have to face this. The other day I was only standing at my front door to check the weather and this happened…
One of the things that sickens me the most is that I am 19 years old, but I look young, and I think I am being target for that. I seriously look like a freshmen in high school, in other words, a minor. And they still target me! Sick!
It seriously depresses me that this is the kind of world I have to live in for the rest of my life. I feel more afraid of threats then I ever have in my life… or I mean, aware.
I sometimes wish I could pull out a sign that says “Just waiting for the bus, please leave me alone!”
Most of us have heard that Chere’s son, Chaz Bono, is transgender and recently underwent surgery. You might have also seen or heard that Bono is now a contestant on Dancing with the Stars! Well I say, good for him; but not everyone feels that way.
Tranphobic psychiatrist Keith Ablow recently went on The O’Reilly Factor (Fox) and stated that, “Mr. Bono is doing more than dancing, he’s on a campaign to mainstream transgenderism.” Ablow claims that if your children watch a transgender person, such as Chaz Bono, on television, that your kids will be influenced to become transgender.
If you ask me children should watch Chaz Bono on TV. Here’s why: Bono is showing all children that he’s completely comfortable with himself and that he possesses no shame in who he is. How could that possibly be a bad thing? It’s not.
Ablow went on to say on The O’Reilly Factor that Bono being a contestant on Dancing with the Stars is akin to anorexics going on television and saying how wonderful they feel. That would be true if being transgender was a deadly or a disease, but it’s neither. The reality is that if all children were exposed to positive role models from the LGBT community, the rate of bullying would most likely go down, as well as the rate of LGBT teen suicide. Growing up knowing that you’re not different and that you should be accepted for who you are and what you feel, is the best thing for any child, whether they are transgender or not.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first that we’ve heard from Ablow, and it probably won’t be the last we hear of him and his illogical rants. This past spring Ablow jumped all over a J. Crew advertisement that showed a mother painting her son’s toenails neon pink. And what do you think Ablow had to say about it? No, not that a pastel pink would have gone better with the little boy’s shirt, but yup, you guessed it: painting this boy’s toenails was inevitably going to cause gender confusion!
Despite those like Ablow, there are positive representations of transgender issues in the media. Checkout Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are reported on CNN.com; it’s an encouraging counterpoint to the outlandishness of so-called “experts” like Ablow.