Heather’s Story: Harassed online

I have been a member of the CouchSurfing community for more than five years. In that time I’ve gotten a few messages that could be considered slightly suggestive. Yesterday I received a completely revolting message from a might-as-well-be anonymous CSer who is clearly there to abuse the system as he has no friends, no recommendations and no photos and yet has “been a member” for almost a year. I reported his profile and both messages he sent me. Below are his messages and my responses.

Frank: “After looking at your pictures I have resolved to buy you a an extra large heavy duty bag and throw it over your entire body because you are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my life. Any man who would look at you would want you for a wife! You can only marry one man at a time or even bed one man at a time! If you reject any of then they must accept No! Come on girl be reasonable! I am not saying that any man should take advantage of you by getting you drunk or hitting you over the head; however it is going to happen time and again unless you wear a large bag over your entire body! You are the most desired commodity in the world ever. You are finer than Gold! You are also worth way more. If you would be mine I’d give all my Gold away! That’s it become a gold digger and get you a huge bag made out of gold to hide under! God bless you and please be mine!”

Me: “You’re a fucking skeezer man. Trolling a feminist with threats of “bride kidnapping” because “you’re so hot I can’t control myself” is fucking pathetic. This website and this project were designed to bring travelers from all over the world together when hotels get too expensive, not to give you an easy way to harass strange women. Obviously you didn’t care enough to read anything on my profile before you sent me this disgusting, misogynistic message or you’d know I already have a partner. Not that I would ever consider “being” anyone’s who felt it’s ok to see women merely as objects to possess. Fuck off sleezebag.”

Frank: “All I am saying is that you can not avoid abuse because all that scum where you live will make a rodeo out of you if you don’t wear a large trash bag to shield your body or if you give into their demands. I am not saying it’s right and if I was there I would kick their ass and protect you like a brother. All I am saying is that you have to wear a bag over your head to keep men from wanting you or even molesting you other wise those Texans will get while the getting’s good. Damn those Yankee Masonic fuck boys to hell! I mean come on you are the most beautiful woman who ever lived! What are the chances that you will be raped over and over again! Its not like your a dog! You have been raped before because you are so fine thus the anger! And thus this has caused you to create this site. I am sorry that it has happened to you. I love you and I respect you and I am 100% pro women’s rights. Darling I love you more than anything in the world! Your wish is my command! Look the price of Gold is sky high and you could make a lot of cash manipulating someone like me!

In the the entire world. Men who drink may rape you in fits of insanity and what else can you do other than hide your perfectness under a bag! I would never take whats not afforded me!”

Me: “Telling someone who has been raped that it’s her fault is the lowest thing you can do. You obviously have no human decency if you’re throwing around the word rape trying to compliment someone. Do everyone a favor and only speak when spoken to. And do not contact me again.”


Laura’s Story: Not an invitation

My self being a New York native was walking through times square on my way to do some volunteer work. It was an extremely hot summer day so I dressed accordingly to the climate. When I was walking through Times Square this man came up to me and said “Hello I am visiting New York and I love the women here do you mind if I take a photo of you” Me being the non confrontational person that I am said no thank you but before I knew it he grabbed me and held me up against him while his friend took a photo. I may have been lightly dressed due to the weather but that is no invitation for men to treat women less then human.

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Anne Marie’s Story: Taking the power back

I was walking my dog at 7am.  This man stuck his head out the window and made kissy noises as he drove past. He got stuck at a stoplight and I walked back to take his pic.  He looked a little confused, and I yelled “you’re going on the internet creep!”  I walked my dog down a different block in case he drove back around.  Feels good to take back the power.

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Veronica’s Story: “Disgusting”

After a great night of talking about women’s issues, street harassment and how important and empowering this work is with one of our international site leaders. I was feeling so inspired and happy. Then, just as I got off the bus at my stop, a guy in a parked car flashed his lights at me.  I looked and I was so disturbed and disgusted by what I saw. The creep was masturbating on a main street! I thought about taking his picture but I was so disgusted by the look on his face the first time I saw him that I didn’t want to look again. Disgusting!

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