2011: A year for courage

So this website has brought back all these memories through the years and given me the courage to contact offenders that I was not able to confront at the time.  One was a grad school professor who stuck his finger up my butt while standing in line with him in the cafeteria. It was the grossest thing.  I was so shocked and humiliated, but weirdly turned around smiling as though it was a joke and said something like “there are laws against that you know, ha ha”  My response so sickens me now that I sent the following e-mail to him last week.  Thanks Hollaback for giving me the courage to set the record straight.

E-mail I wrote to my long ago offender:
I should have slapped the shit out of you and started yelling at the top of my lungs “This asshole pervert just stuck his finger in my ass and I’m turning him over to the authorities.”  You fucking bastard. We were in line at the cafeteria at USC. At the age of 30-something I’d not yet learned to stand up to sexual harassment in a way that was helpful. You have probably forgotten what you did to me, but if you are still sexually assaulting your female students I hope to God you’ve gotten what you deserve from at least one or two of them.

For some reason you hated me–I guess because I didn’t worship you. Your class was terrifying for me.  I’d never done improv.  You seemed to pick up on that, had no compassion or even the slightest interest in understanding my fear as your student of acting. You had all the power, Stephen.  I know because I went on to be a university director and teacher. Then to make it worse, you made it your mission to humiliate me every chance you got.

I was in the MFA class of 1986 at USC.  I took one year of your Improv class and then got released from it because it was so upsetting to me. I also remember you STILL treating me like shit year’s later at [      ]’s wedding.  I don’t know why I was even at your table at the reception, but I was. What was your fucking problem with me? I should have cornered you and confronted you then.

I needed to get this off my chest because every time I get the USC alumni magazine, that memory comes back and I feel ashamed.  NO MORE.  You can have the shame because you are the only one who did anything wrong.

I deserve an apology and you deserve to have been reported.

I rather doubt you are man enough to even consider making amends.  So be it.  I’m having a damn good life surrounded by people who love and appreciate me and you, my dear, can go to hell.

Submitted by circe1223

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2 Responses

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  1. Rebecca says:

    You go girl. Amazing email.

  2. Lauren says:

    wow you kicked his ass haha
    AWESOME!!!

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