Where are all the real men?

This did not happen to me but to a young Asian woman riding on the MUNI during rush hour this evening.

We got on the N Judah MUNI line at around 7:00PM. The woman sat in front of me. The harasser sat across from the woman. He started to verbally harass her immediately and another woman beside him. The second women got off the train immediately.

The  woman ignored him at first then made a comment in hopes of him stopping. I did not hear her exactly but she politely said no to his request. He called her a racist and other words when she did not respond favorably. He continued, NON-STOP telling her how pretty she is, then giving her the finger, and saying rude comments. Sticking his hand in her face and against her wishes taking her picture with his cell phone. Much of this happened very quickly.

Mind you this train is packed full of mostly people in business attire going home from work. Most were men. Several much bigger than the harasser and in a perfect position to assist the woman.

The woman beside me spoke up first. She asked him to leave her alone. The guy turned on her and said a few rude things then returned his attention to the first girl. A minute or two went by and the guy gets more agitated and verbal. Several times I though he was going to actually physically assault her. Then I spoke out to the entire group of men around us. That there must not be any men with any balls on this train to say anything. Not a SINGLE one of them even tried to help that woman. they simply watched the guy verbally harass and stick his hands and camera phone in her face.

“I said there must not be a single man on this train”  rather loudly to the woman that had confronted the guy. The guys in the seat right beside the woman and her “attacker” turned and gave ME the dirty look and then continued to ignore the situation.

While the guy was still for a few seconds I took his picture. The girl very quickly exited the train I made sure he was not going to follower before exiting myself. As the train sat there I went up to him and took a picture as he looked right at me. Just as he had done that girl. I should have done more.

NOT a SINGLE man on that train lifted so much as a finger.

I discussed reporting it to another passenger. They said the MUNI security would do nothing and likely would not even care. I have only been in this city 9 months. I have been verbally harassed before and did stand up for myself. It is freaking scary since you do not know if the people around you will even bother to help. Likely they wont from my experience.

The picture is of the guy, in a red jacket, who was harassing the other woman. I have a second picture but not as clear of him looking directly into my camera. I got home still shaking and disgusted.

Submitted by Nichole

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6 Responses

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  1. Tanja says:

    thanks, nichole, for sharing this shocking story. i live in austria / europe and the men here are just as ball-less as there.

  2. Cody says:

    This is the kind of thing that pisses me off in todays society. I don’t understand HOW someone could harass a woman like that. It’s against my morals, I couldn’t ever think of doing something like that to any woman for any reason. One things for certain that if I was there, I would have knocked that fucker out. I HATE when guys behave that way.

  3. Golden Silence says:

    He looks like a troll that belongs under a bridge. What a creep!

  4. Erik K. says:

    Street Harassment and the Bystander Effect
    When Society Lets the Riffraff Rule the Roost

    The bystander effect or Genovese syndrome is a social psychological phenomenon that refers to cases where individuals do not offer help in an emergency situation when other people are present. The probability of help has in the past been thought to be inversely related to the number of bystanders; in other words, the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help.(1)

    The case of Kitty Genovese is often cited as an example of the “bystander effect”. It is also the case that originally stimulated social psychological research in this area.

    Genovese was stabbed to death in 1964 by a serial rapist and murderer. According to newspaper accounts, the attack lasted for at least a half an hour. The murderer attacked Genovese and stabbed her, then fled the scene after attracting the attention of a neighbor. The killer then returned ten minutes later and finished the assault. Newspaper reports after Genovese’s death claimed that 38 witnesses watched the stabbings and failed to intervene or even contact the police.(1)

    In October 2009, a 15-year-old girl at a Richmond High homecoming dance was gang raped while a number of onlookers did nothing and were said to have been laughing, jeering, and taking photos with their cell phones. According to the Richmond Police Department, the girl was raped by at least four different suspects who committed multiple sex acts. She was flown to a hospital in critical condition after the attack.(2)

    Early in the morning of April 18, a 31-year-old homeless was stabbed while trying to save a woman from an attacker with a knife in Queens, New York. The homeless man, now identified as Hugo Alfredo Tale-Yax, was stabbed and left dying on the street in a pool of blood for more than an hour.(3)

    Surveillance video, obtained by the New York Post, shows people walking by the man. One person took a photograph on his mobile phone then walked away and another stopped, shook Tale-Yax, and even rolled him over so that his wounds were visible. Still, officials weren’t called until one-hour-and-twenty minutes after Tale-Yax collapsed.(3)

    (1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect
    (2)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richmond_High_School_(Richmond,_California)
    (3) http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2010/04/26/understanding-the-bystander-effect/

    Street Harassment is an example of the Bystander Effect in action. It may be less extreme than the above examples, but it follows the exact same pattern. Taking a look the following video link shows the Bystander Effect at work on a subway.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjkEVnkswaA

    The Bystander Effect has multiple origins, but a part of it comes from the bystanders feelings of powerlessness. Powerlessness leads to apathy. Apathy creates powerlessness. It is a vicious cycle of deny, delay, and do nothing. But in reality, the power lies in the hands of the bystanders. It is their inaction that allows the harasser to act with total impunity.

    The dirty little secret that all street harassers know is that it is very easy to intimidate the general public. They realize that by talking loudly and making dramatic gestures they can get away with outrageous behavior. Both men and women will be fearful of getting involved. Therefore, the harasser is able to take charge. Street harassment provides the harasser the opportunity to flip the social structure. The riffraff get to rule the roost. The harasser has learned from experience how much he can get away with. He reads the bystanders. He uses his harassment to take control not only over his target, but over the bystanders as well.

    The bystanders are now faced with a choice. They can get involved, or they can internally justify their inaction with rationalizations such as: “I am too busy”, “it’s not my problem”, and “the harasser may turn on me”. Alternatively, the rationalizations could seek minimize the scope of the problem, “well, she looks ok”, “he was only kidding”, or “he didn’t hurt her”. Another form of justification is to blame the target of harassment, “she was asking for it”. All of these rationalizations are methods for the bystander to minimize their feelings of cognitive dissonance. They must justify the conflict of their inaction with the type of moral person they believe themselves to be.

    The reality of modern society is that few people have developed the ability to do more than to disengage from a perceived threat. They have conditioned themselves to be non-responsive as opposed to being proactive. Therefore, while it may be too much to expect that the bystanders directly confront the harasser with his unsocial behavior; it is not too much to expect that they provide some type of moral support to the target of harassment. In the case of the video, someone could have seated themselves next to woman being harassed.

    Every instance of street harassment is an opportunity to rewrite history. It is an opportunity to diminish the Bystander Effect. It provides people with a concrete opportunity to stand up for their beliefs. By taking action, no matter how small, bystanders will recondition themselves from being passive observers into proactive participants. Major change will not happen overnight. Reconditioning only comes through continuous small steps. Each step becomes a little bolder than the one before. Eventually, bystanders will be able to assert control and the riffraff will no longer rule the roost.

  5. AK says:

    I live here in SF, am able-bodied, and would have intervened in this situation. However, keep in mind that any man or woman who might have wanted to intervene was likely aware that the dirt-bag might well be armed, with a gun or knife, and so any intervention could instantly turn into a lethal confrontation. Alternatively, the dirt-bag might sue an intervenor, or claim he was assaulted and persuade a cop he was the victim — presumably he has the time to pursue such escapades while the working-stiffs on the Muni have other fish to fry.

    This is why we have armed law-enforcement officers. The real issue is that thugs can act with impunity in such situations because law enforcement has become toothless in so many instances — and the reasons for that could fill a book.

  6. OR Hotels" says:

    All I can say is stay the best. Some professional bloggers post a couple of times a day on the blogs, simply because this frequent addition of new content helps it to get regular readers.

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