The victim is still never to blame, folks, let’s get our shit together here.

Hi HollaBack,

I didn’t snap a photo of this guy, because I didn’t know/couldn’t believe what was happening until much later:

Two friends and I took the downtown 6 train from 86th street to 14th street, about 6:45 on Saturday evening. The train was PACKED. I was pressed up against some dude, my back to his front. I felt something around my butt, but couldn’t tell what is was–I suspected a penis, but wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I made a face at my friends, who told me to elbow him, but I couldn’t really tell what was happening. I could feel his heart beating against my back, but again, it was crowded, sweaty, etc. Eventually I was able to move. Fine. When the train crowds eased up a bit I realized I had something on my backside, and on my legs. We got out at 14th street, went to a restaurant, and I checked the dress in the bathroom–the man definitely came on me.

I called the police the next day, and they came by my apartment to take a report, but it was mortifying–they kept questioning everythinng I said, and one officer “repeated back” to me what I had allegedly told him, not letting me correct his mistakes, and told me “I have a great memory so I know exactly what you said.” Eventually his supervisor came by, and she was nicer, and more sympathetic, but the
message was clear: why would you let someone stand that close to you, and why wouldn’t you say anything (at the time, or right afterward). The whole experience was awful, but I don’t really know what I could have done differently–I didn’t want to turn around to face the guy, and figured that SEEING him would be worse than feeling him, but I had no idea that he must have had his penis out.

Completely disgusting, and the cops’ attitude made it worse.

Submitted by Sarah

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  1. Laura says:

    Horrible and disgusting.

    Another horrible part is that I’m not surprised the police treated you this way. If anything is reported that is outside what they think is “the norm” ie stranger rape or stranger assault – they’ll question it and openly doubt you and your actions afterwards.

    It’s quite obvious why you didn’t do anything at the time, it’s easy for them to say if they were in your situation they would have done X or Y, but they weren’t and they have no idea how it felt with such lack of control and degradation.

    It obviously is not your fault. Did they collect any “specimen” to identify this pervert?

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