Verbal

Iain and Dylan Save the Day from Cockweasels!

I was walking through town to get the bus, wearing dungarees, a Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirt and a pair of manky Converse, and some baldy 23-year-old dick went “Excuse me.” I was deep in thoughts of Iain Banks and Dylan Moran:

(Iain)

 

(Dylan) 

(at one and the same time! This is quite absorbing, and useful at work to make the day go faster…) and so looked at him vaguely and said “Whuh?” He made the universal gesture for “You have breasts and I am a cockweasel!” and said “You’re a bit lopsided there!” I looked blank, my mind was (considerably) elsewhere. “Ah, yes. Thanks.” I said, and wandered off. He looked disgruntled and his pal laughed like a monkey and poked him, and I and my dirty thoughts won the day. 

To be honest I wish I’d said something scathing, but really, I was distracted.

Submitted by Susanna, Scotland

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Verbal

Serious Question

As I was walking to school the other day, I had a little adventure…

A man accosted me on the street and started a conversation, which went like this:
Man: in his best sultry bedroom voice, “serious question.”
Me: “what?”
Man: “has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
Me: “serious question.”
Man: “what?”
Me: “has that ever worked for you?”

I walked off. He proceeded to follow me, calling me a “bitch,” a “cunt” and so forth. He told me he just wanted to tell me how beautiful I am, I must be frigid, I must hate sex and, now, he’s changed his mind and I’m ugly. I continue to ignore him and, finally, I see my chance–I duck into the school bookstore to escape. The last thing I hear as the door closes behind me is, “and yes, it has worked for me! All the time!” I tell the woman who works there, who I’m friendly with, what just happened. She says, “wait, hang on,” and she describes him to me perfectly. She asks, “is that the guy?” I answer, “yes, absolutely.” It turns out that he was in the school bookstore not 10 minutes ago, making passes against her and rubbing up against the books.

Submitted by CJ

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Verbal

Lexington Avenue LOSER!


Lexington Avenue near 86th Street, 7:45 p.m., Thursday night.

Walking towards the subway I see two guys eyeing me, but try to ignore them. Then I hear one of them say, “Hey baby, how you doin’? How you feelin’? COME SEE DADDY!” (impossible to put into words how creepy and disgusting that last part is.) I turn around to confront the guy. “How can you talk that way to someone you’ve never met before? I don’t know you! Why don’t you learn some manners? Why don’t you go home and ask your mother to teach you some manners?” All he can manage during this tirade is to repeat “go away, aw, go away.” Funny, he wanted my attention so badly a moment ago.

I turn and keep walking, but then remember my cell phone, so I go back to look for him. I spot him and his silent friend through a window, inside a small store. I step in and aim my camera at the back of his head. “Hey, loser!” He turns around and I snap his photo. He realizes, too late, what I’m trying to do. “Oh, no” he says, as he tries to step away, but there is no room to go anywhere. He says again, “go away, go away.” I respond, “You’re going on the internet, loser!” and walk out of the store.

Submitted by Nancy

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Assault, NYPD FAIL, Verbal

The Price of Ignoring

http://www.wftv.com/news/11315838/detail.html?subid=22105266&qs=1;bp=t

A woman was walking down the street, and chose to ignore the catcalls some asshole was yelling at her as he drove past. Apparently he thought he was so entitled to her attention that he turned the truck around and ran her over. In other words, “that’s what you get for ignoring me, bitch.” Hard to hollaback from underneath your harasser/assaulter’s vehicle. 

The woman was taken to the hospital and is in serious condition. The driver of the truck is still at large. If he’s ever found, police say they may charge him with attempted murder.

Submitted by Ann

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