Assault, groping, Verbal

And You Thought Carnies Were Scary…

First, I’m SO glad to see a site like this! I hate being harassed, by men and women both. It’s degrading and insulting, and for me started when I was eight. But this one is about my first truly awful experience.

The reason I’m writing is because of something that happened a few month before MY THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY and I just can’t not say anything anymore. It’s time for me to finally holla back.

I was working a game on a carnival for the weekend (parents permission of course, the people that owned the game were friends of the family) and it was getting late. I was sitting there talking with another woman (“Lizzy”) working that game, waiting for someone to play. Two men in their mid to late 20’s asked how much it was to win a prize. Lizzy told them how many points it’d take, etc, the whole time this guy was looking me up and down. Everyone knows that feeling of being undressed with a look. This guy was a pro. Needless to say, this freaked out my 12 yr old self pretty bad. I avoided eye contact, I did my very best to let him know I wasn’t interested. Obviously I didn’t have much experience at the time with jackoffs like this.

Then he said something in Spanish. Lizzy tilted her head and asked him to say it in English. He then POINTED AT ME, AND ASKED HOW MUCH FOR ME! I felt my face flush deep red and looked away, scared out of my mind. Lizzy was obviously a bit stunned and tried to make it into a joke.

He then played the game a few times, by the time he left, I was watching someone else play with my back the crowd, when I felt the most creepy experience I can remember. I had hair down to my hips at that time and felt a hand go through my hair and down my back// <![CDATA[
D(["mb","
, by the time I realized what happened and turned around, \nI saw the son of a bitch walking away.

\n

\n

I wish I\’d known then what I know now. I wish I had had the guts to tell \nhim exactly what to do with himself. It was an extremely degrading experience \nfor a little girl. Lucky for me, I\’ve gotten better at telling a guy to fuck \noff. Still very disturbing knowing that men like that are still out \nthere are men that are such cowards they victimize little girls.

\n

\n

~Marie

\n\n”,0] ); D([“ce”]);
// ]]>, by the time I realized what happened and turned around, I saw the son of a bitch walking away.

I wish I’d known then what I know now. I wish I had had the guts to tell him exactly what to do with himself. It was an extremely degrading experience for a little girl. Lucky for me, I’ve gotten better at telling a guy to fuck off. Still very disturbing knowing that men like that are still out there are men that are such cowards they victimize little girls.

Written by Marie.

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Stalking, Verbal

Time for Therapy

The Hollaback NYC blog reminded me of a scary thing that happened to me when I used to work for an inventory service. I sometimes had to work stores in downtown Denver and we wouldn’t get out till after dark. One night as I was leaving, this really freaky dude was standing there on the 16th Street mall. I ignored him and kept walking to get to my car which of course was 5 or so
blocks away.

He suddenly shouted “Hey, Bitch, do you know what time it is?” I ignored him and kept walking. He shouted “Hey, Slut! Yeah, I’m talking to you! Don’t ignore me or I’ll cut your fuckin’ throat!

I hurried around this corner and was about to duck into a bar and tell them to call the cops. I guess he lost sight of me because he kept walking down 16th street.

I’m sure he was mentally ill but compassion was lost to fear at that point. People like that really shouldn’t be out on the street. Who knows if he was just spouting stuff or if he’d really have done it if he’d gotten hold of somebody?

Written by Cie.

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Verbal

3 Days of Harassment

The past three days have been clouded with sexual harassment and I feel like I failed to fight back until today. For some reason men have been making unwarranted passes at me and saying unnecessary comments to me and I just freeze. But today I didn’t want to take it anymore.

I’ve been repeatedly called pet names on the job, a jeweler kissed my neck and rubbed my stomach after a friendly hug, and I was hooted at while running. But in those moments I didn’t act as I wish I had now. Hindsight is always 20/20.

But this morning when I was walking to the office and a man working on the building across the street whistled at me, I stopped and turned to him. He waved. I continued walking and stopped again: I should take his photo. So I got out my phone, pointed, and he ducked away.
Damn…

Then when I was leaving the gym tonight with a friend, a nasty old man with dumbells sneered at us and croaked: “Sexxxy…” Just like this morning, I stopped dead in my tracks and looked right at him. He smiled.
“Did you just say ‘sexy’?”
Surprised: “What?”
A little more aggressively: “Did you just say ‘sexxy’ to her?”
Embarrassed, he choked, “Er, um, no, to myself.”
“Oh. To yourself…” and we walked off shaking our heads.
I wish I had my phone.

written by Brigitte.

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Verbal

The Old Man Said…

The old man at the coupon counter yelled, “Hey there, Red!” to me, as I walked through the store at which I work, winking suggestively to top it off. (My hair is dyed bright red.)

I might have let it go, but something about the fact that I was clearly at work (considering that I was wearing a company shirt and all) just ticked me off.
So I turned around. “I have a name, and if you are going to address me, you will address me by my name, and not by my hair color, is that clear?” I replied, putting on my best Frost Queen before stalking away.
It felt pretty good to hear him flapping his gums behind me, caught between embarassment and annoyance at having found a girl with the balls to talk back.

written by Angela.

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Verbal

Different Kind of Pancake Dinner

I was walking to the corner to get eggs and milk for a pancake dinner and some guy says “Hey, Slut” right to me. Without even thinking, I just yelled back “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Actually yelled. Then I was a little scared thinking he might come after me, but he just kicked some trash and kept walking. Perhaps I have a bit of pent up aggression stored up right now. Anyone who has spent a lot of time with me lately is thinking “just a little bit” a la Sixteen Candles church scene. Perhaps I was inspired by Holla Back – my uncle sent me the link a few weeks ago.

The funny part is that I was wearing my hair back, glasses, no makeup, and a big puffy winter coat. I think the guy was seriously drunk. That is why I kind of feel bad for yelling at him. Isn’t it insane that now I feel bad about yelling at the drunk guywho called me a slut on the street? Just a little bit.

Written by Mara in NYC.

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Verbal

Unsexy At Any Speed

Episode 1: This morning I was walking to the donut shop for my daily Boston Cream and kick-off coffee of the day, dressed quite alluringly in several layers of winter garb and thinking about criminal procedure, when I heard beeping and a man’s voice. “Hey, hey,” yelled a guy who was sitting in the passenger seat of a blue van. Without saying anything, I gave him the finger. “Oh, thank you very much,” he responded.

Episode 2: No Hugs

This afternoon I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Astoria, eating my dinner, when a man entered carrying a plastic race car that played scratchy “music.” I looked up at him and, because I have this weird Tourette’s-like illness that causes me to uncontrollably make sarcastic comments to anyone who annoys me, said to the guy, “That’s annoying.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Can I get a hug?
“No.” And with that abrupt shut-down, the guy left. When the door closed behind him, I turned to the guy one booth over and smiled. He laughed.

If Creep Valley High School existed, that guy with the car would be stuck in the remedial classes. He would have to go to the pre-9th grade summer program just to catch up to the rest of the student body, and THEN the school administration would place him in the program for low-end creeps.

Written by Lauri.

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Assault, groping

Friends Don’t Let Friends Harrass Women

i’m an american who recently moved to tallinn, estonia. i was surprised to find that it’s rare for men to harass women on the street here. apparently, this does not apply in bars. my friend and i were at the counter ordering our drinks when a man seated at a nearby table reached out and grabbed my friend’s ass. she was in shock so i turned around and said, “hey, that’s not cool” then addressed his friends (the guy was trashed) “please control your friend.” we turn back to the bar and drunk guy makes like he’s going for attempt #2 so i turn around and say in a slightly more direct tone, “back off!” as we’re paying for our drinks, drunk guy grabs my friend’s ass again! i’m not in the mood for negotiations at this point so i turn around and yell, “keep your fucking hands off her, asshole!” and to his friends i say, “control your fucking friend.” in response, drunk guy tries to say something and stand but winds up just falling backwards in his chair. we take this as our cue to grab our drinks and go. bastard.

written by trudee.

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Stalking, Verbal

The Infamous Compound Holla

I was living in Astoria, and I use the word ‘living’ — Hold the phone. You won’t believe this. As I was writing this Hollaback, a guy came into my office and sexually harrassed me. He asked me if I like to be flogged, and since it was hot in the office I should get naked. He asked me to cuss because cussing women turn him on. What a fucking creep. Problem is, since he doesn’t work here, or work anywhere, there was nothing I could do. He’s a member of the synagogue. I just tried to steer the conversation towards more neutral ground and towards business. And now I feel stupid because I didn’t stand up for myself more. So, Hollaback, Shelly! I hope you get a papercut on your dick when your jacking off tonight to Hustler.

Back to my original Hollaback…

I was living in Astoria, and I use the word ‘living’ loosely as it was wll about 95 degrees and we had no air conditioner. Also, you don’t live in Astoria, you kind of just wait around in Astoria until you can move to Brooklyn. Anyway. I went out to the store a block away at around 11pm really just to wander around in the Rite Aid air conditioning. This guy on my way to Rite Aid said something nasty to me, and then turned around and followed me into the store. He continued following me around the store, saying nasty things to me under his breath. I alerted the security guy, and the guy walked outside, standing right in front of the door, waiting for me to come out. The security guard said, “What do you want me to do about it?” I said, “Can you tell him to leave me alone, or walk me out the door or something?” and he said, “Boys will be boys.” What a fucking mother fucker. Anyway, I truck it out of the shop, doing my lengthiest stride, and asshole is still following me. I know of an apartment building on my way home where the front door is always unlocked. I decide to go there instead of home. I walk in the front door and disappear into the garden for about 10 minutes. I return to the front door, expecting him to be gone so I can go the fuck home. Nope…

Read More!

He’s standing right across the street gawking at me through the front door. Anger grabs a hold of me. I step out the front door, and I point right at him. “YOU!” I say. He looks confused and looks around. I yell at the top of my lungs, “YES, YOU. STOP FUCKING FOLLOWING ME.” The guy looks scared and walks away. Just then a Police car drives up. I tell them what happened and they agree to take me home. They just have to take care of a jumper on the roof. HIL-arious. So, they drive me home, and my Landlady gets a nice view of me coming home at midnight in the back of a police car, as they shine their search light full blast at the front door and say in a mega volume loudspeaker, “Can you find your keys?!?” Hollaback to you, asshole mutter-follower. And a special hollaback to that piece of shit guard.

Written by Julie

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Assault

Nobody Wants to be a Subway Model

So, Toronto is the setting of this disturbing story. I am sitting on the subway with a friend, minding my own business and nobody else’s. This guy on one of those motor wheelchairs comes on the train and stops right in the middle of the aisle in front of the doorway, facing me, and me facing another way so that he could see the profile of my face, not my whole face. So I’m talking, when my friend starts saying weird stuff, like ‘look at me’ and ‘wait, wait, stay like that,’ which really confused me. When the wheelchair guy finally drove past me and away (staring at me with a weird smile before he left,) my friend turned to me and told me that this guy just took a picture of me with his camera. I was in pure shock, because on the news there was a segment about men who go around taking pictures of females on subways… I hope it was a good picture though… Peace

written by Anya

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groping, Verbal

Even If They Are Ugly

Two weeks ago Girlfriend and I are walking back from a night at a lesbian club when we get slammed twice.

Incident one: We’re walking arm in arm, about to cross 45th st, when a young man bounces over to us. He says to me, “You look nice.” Then he looks at Girlfriend and says, “Don’t she look nice?” We’re just looking at him. He then reaches out his hand and strokes my shoulder. I say “Don’t
touch me.” And he walks on.

He was a young guy – probably a teenager – and I’m not sure he knew that what he was doing was inappropriate. He looked like he thought I’d be pleased, or respond well, and was surprised when I didn’t. Had I been less tipsy, I might have tried to have a little conversation with him, school him a little on how touching a strange woman in a place like Times Square
might lead to said woman and her girlfriend feeling less than safe.

We proceed to the corner of 47th and 7th, where I hail a cab and Incident Two ensues…

Click here to read more…

Two gentlemen in front of me try to take the cab that I’ve hailed, Mr. Touchy’s inappropriate behavior has set me off and I’m having none of it. I say, “Excuse me, that’s my cab.” Drunk, incoherent stares.

“Excuse me, I hailed that cab.”

One of them finally comes to and replies.

“It’s alright,” he says, “let them have the cab.”

The other stares aggressively at me, but decides to let it pass, while his friend opens the cab door for us (totally unsolicited and unnecessarily). Girlfriend and I step in, I go to close the door, and he closes it for me, saying, “Even if they are ugly.”

By this point I’ve had enough, and I scream, “Fuck off!” in the cab with the windows down. There’s no point in making the cab driver deaf, so I roll down the window and scream “Fuck off!” at the men walking away. One of them grabs his ass and rubs in my direction.

Some men take advantage of how unsafe some women feel, and some men just don’t get it.

Written by Johanna

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